Redesign Your Life - One Imperfect Step at a Time

Lessons Learned from Being Alone

• Lynn Grogan • Episode 29

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 When my husband goes out of town, I have a little tradition: I pick a show we wouldn’t normally watch together and plow through an entire season. This time, I chose the show Alone. I ended up loving it so much that I knew I had to bring it into today’s podcast episode.

If you’re not familiar, Alone is a wilderness survival show where contestants are dropped into extreme conditions to see how long they can last. As I watched, my coach brain kicked in (as it always does!), and I started thinking: How does this apply to real life?

Thankfully, most of us won’t ever face a wilderness survival scenario. But the challenges contestants face on Alone reveal some powerful lessons about resilience, adaptability, and mindset that we can learn from. 

In today’s episode, I’m sharing five key takeaways from Alone and showing you how to apply them to your own life:

  1. Energy Is Finite—Spend It Wisely: Focus your energy on what truly matters to you, and don’t waste it on things that drain you unnecessarily.

  2. Success Requires Both a Plan and Adaptability: Plan for the results you want, but be ready to pivot when life throws you a curveball.

  3. You Are So Much More Capable Than You Realize: Challenge yourself to push past your perceived limits—you might just surprise yourself.

  4. Mindset Matters: Your attitude can make all the difference. Practicing positivity can help you overcome even the toughest challenges.

  5. Keep the Big Picture in Mind and Allow Yourself to Change Your Mind: Life isn’t static. When your priorities shift, it’s okay to give yourself permission to change your mind. 

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Original music by David Delaney of The Whiskey Boys: Linktr.ee/whiskeyboys

Lynn Grogan [00:00:01]:
You are listening to the Courageously Unconventional podcast. If you want to change your life and start living on your own terms, you're in the right place. I'm your host, Lynn Grogan. I'm a certified life coach, and I wanna help you take action toward creating your own unconventional life. Each week, I'll share inspiring and unconventional stories from those who have gone before you, as well as actionable steps you can take to start your own unconventional path today. Let's go. Hey, all. Welcome back to the show.

Lynn Grogan [00:00:36]:
So this past weekend, my husband was away visiting his family in the Midwest, and I had the RV all to myself. And, honestly, it was such a treat. Like, of course, the dog and I missed him, but let's be real. Sometimes a little alone time is the best thing ever. And I know he appreciates his time alone when I'm away too, so it's it's mutual. Okay? But when he's gone, I have this little tradition. I pick a show that he and I wouldn't ordinarily watch together, and then I plow through an entire season. So this time, I chose the show alone, and I ended up liking it so much that I knew I had to bring it into today's podcast episode.

Lynn Grogan [00:01:17]:
Now, if you haven't seen Alone, don't worry. Stay with me. You'll still get a lot out of this episode. The premise is super simple, so it doesn't even matter if you've seen the show before. So basically, 10 people are dropped into a remote wilderness area with limited supplies, and then they have to survive and outlast everyone else to win a cash prize. They're completely alone, hence the title of the show. And along the way, they just don't know, like, how many people are left and what's going on. And so it's just like this extreme test of physical and mental endurance.

Lynn Grogan [00:01:50]:
And I, I joked with my husband that I watched it just in case he didn't come back, and I just needed to brush up on my survival skills. Okay. Kidding. Kidding. I also want to say, if you know anything about me, you know that I'm a huge reality TV fan. It's just my jam, so much so that I have another podcast called Reality Show Life Coach, where I bring on other life coaches and mental health professionals to analyze reality TV. That show has been on a break this year, but it's coming back in January 2025 to cover the next season of The Bachelor. And fun fact, one of my friend's daughter is going to be on that season.

Lynn Grogan [00:02:24]:
So all of my worlds are coming together, and I'm super excited to bring that back. I'll link to that show in the show notes. But, you know, in preparation for that, this podcast today about the show alone makes sense. And now you also know that I just can't ever turn my coach brain off even when I'm watching trash TV. So while I'm watching episode after episode, I couldn't help myself. I just started to think like, how does all of this apply to our lives? So that's what I want to dive into today. So thankfully, most of us won't ever face a wilderness survival situation like the contestants on Alone. At least I hope not.

Lynn Grogan [00:03:04]:
But there's some really valuable lessons that we can take away from the show, And I narrowed it down to 5 things. It was hard to boil it down, my friends. And also don't worry. I won't spoil anything for you in case you want to watch the show. I'm not even going to tell you which season I watch because honestly, it doesn't matter. Alrighty. You ready? Let's get into it. Okay.

Lynn Grogan [00:03:24]:
So point number 1 is your energy is finite, spend it wisely. So one of the biggest themes that comes up over and over again in every episode of alone is that your energy is finite, and how you spend it matters. The contestants constantly weigh what they have to do against the effort required. The show even breaks down. They have these, like, little pop up text that comes up that breaks down how many calories it takes to complete certain activities, like chopping wood or hauling rocks, compared to how much energy they gain back from the food that they find. And we know going into this that every contestant is smart, resourceful, and capable. Like, they wouldn't be on the show otherwise, but they realize that they can't do everything. There are only so many hours in a day, and the amount of energy that they have depends on lots of different factors, like what they've eaten, how much rest they've had, how physically taxing their tasks are, and even their mindset.

Lynn Grogan [00:04:21]:
And the contestants who last the longest are the ones who carefully consider how and when to expend their energy. I can't tell you how many times I yelled at the TV, like, dude, you ate 1 squirrel this week. You do not have the energy to move those rocks around. Take a break, buddy. Okay. So it doesn't take a survival situation to see how this might apply to all of us. So sure, we are a better resource than the contestants on the show, but our energy, just like theirs, is finite. And it's so easy to fall into the trap of believing we can and should be able to do it all, all of the time.

Lynn Grogan [00:05:00]:
But let's face it. That's just not realistic, no matter how long your to do list is. So here's a question for you, how do you want to spend your precious limited energy? Is giving a 110% at work and getting through your entire to do list, no matter what, worth it if it leaves you depleted at the end of the day with nothing left for yourself or your family or your friends? And how would your life change if you acknowledge that your energy was limited, and instead you focused on what matters most first, and let everything else come second, or not at all. Point number 2, success requires a plan and adaptability. So building on this idea of focusing on what matters most, another critical lesson from alone is that success requires both a plan and the ability to adapt quickly. So sure, every contestants came into the wilderness with a strategy, but the ones who thrived were those who kept planning and adapting after they arrived. And when things went wrong, and they always went wrong, the most successful contestants adjusted their plans very quickly. So instead of wasting precious energy arguing against reality, they focus on what they could do next.

Lynn Grogan [00:06:18]:
And the more they step back to think strategically rather than reacting emotionally, the better off they were. So take for an example, contestants who he had created, like, this most amazing food storage system, and it was on the top of this very tall platform. And it was a great plan until one night he accidentally left his ladder in place, and a Wolverine, an actual wolverine, raided his food cash. Like, oh, total bummer. Like, that might have actually kicked him off the show or, like, made him have to leave the show. But instead of spiraling into regret and blaming himself, he just adapted. He asked himself, like, into regret and blaming himself, he just adapted. He asked himself, like, okay, this happened.

Lynn Grogan [00:06:53]:
How can I get more food? It was, like, dead of winter, so he had to get very creative with that one. And he also knew that, ordinarily wouldn't leave his ladder propped up there, so that meant his mental capacity has started to diminish due to, like, lack of proper nutrition. So he had to ask himself, like, okay, what could he do in the future to prevent this from happening, considering where he was at mentally? And that ability to pivot kept him on the show. Okay. So let's connect this to you. If you want to create specific results, having a strategy and a plan is essential, and you don't need to know everything from the start. I mean, when they drop these contestants in the middle of nowhere, they don't know what's going to happen next. They just had to take their best guess based on what they knew and move forward.

Lynn Grogan [00:07:44]:
And here's the thing, the plans we put in place or that we imagine are rarely perfect, and things will go wrong and new information will come to light. When that happens, the key is to pause, reevaluate, and adapt. And ask yourself, like, what can I try next? What's in my control to actually try? And the combination of planning and adaptability will have you stay on track even when life throws you curveballs. Alright. Point number 3. We are capable of so much more than we know. So one of the reasons contestants say they are drawn to the show is to see how much further they can push themselves as a human. And watching these journeys unfold is one of the most incredible and inspiring reasons to watch the show, because the situations they get themselves in are crazy.

Lynn Grogan [00:08:31]:
I'm actually kind of shocked nobody has died yet. Like, after the first or second episode, I Googled it, and I was like, okay. We have to see here. Has anybody died? No. Not yet. One guy went, like, head to head with a Wolverine. Like, I was like, why is this happening? This is crazy. You can't help but wonder, like, what else are people capable of, and then also, like, what else are you capable of? One of the best ways to figure this out is actually to put yourself in a new environment you've never been in before, and see what happens.

Lynn Grogan [00:09:01]:
One of my clients did this recently as she's working on building up her confidence, and she recently went on a solo weekend by herself. She had never really done anything like that before, not any time recently, as she would often go with her partner or her friends and not go on her own. And in coaching, we talk through how to talk to her partner about wanting to go alone and what were her reasons for doing that, how to make supportive decisions for the weekend, how to be comfortable, or mostly uncomfortable being alone, but handling it. And, yes, she could have worked on these things in her familiar environment, but being in a new environment helped fast forward her progress immensely. It's amazing to think about the ripple effects of these kind of experiences in our lives. And when you realize you're capable of something that once felt impossible or too out of character for you, it really opens you up. So what could you do to push your limits just a little bit further? And it doesn't have to involve a solo trip away from home or surviving in the wilderness, but is there a new situation or environment you could introduce into your life that would challenge you and help you discover what else is possible for you? Point number 4, mindset matters. Yes, my friends, having a good attitude matters, even if you're in a remote wilderness area all by yourself.

Lynn Grogan [00:10:22]:
One of the most surprising takeaways from Alone is that maintaining a positive mindset often determines how long contestants last, even more so than their ability to start a fire or set the perfect trap. You'll often hear the contestants on the show repeating themselves. I've gotta stay positive. I've gotta stay positive, and intentionally work on creating a positive mindset. Why? Because they've seen it play out. Contestants don't always leave because they run out of food, or they've gotten sick, or they've accidentally set their shelter on fire. Sometimes they leave because they just don't see the point anymore. Their mental health and perspectives unravel, and they tap out.

Lynn Grogan [00:11:04]:
Contestants who last the longest recognize that the mindset challenge is a part of the test of being out there. So how do they do it? Like, here are a few things that I noticed, and I'm sure there's many more. So time and time again, we see the contestants remind themselves why they're out there. They'll take out, like, a picture of their family, and they'll remember, okay, this is why I'm doing this. Although, think about how they might use the money to improve their lives. You gotta know your why. They also express gratitude for even the smallest things. There are so many wonderful scenes of them coming across like an animal that they've caught or a fish on their on their line.

Lynn Grogan [00:11:45]:
And they're just weeping like these immense tears of joy and gratitude. And it's just, it's really wonderful to watch actually. And they also find ways to inject like silliness and playfulness into their day, so lighten their mental load. There's something about taking something that's super heavy and then suddenly being playful about it that just helps them move forward. Now think about your own mindset. When life throws you challenges, how do you typically respond? Do you fixate on the problem, get frustrated, and wish things were different, or do you acknowledge reality, accept it, and work on moving forward? It's not always easy to stay positive. Expressing disappointment or frustration is healthy and necessary, but staying stuck in those feelings can hold you back. Developing a positive mindset is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice.

Lynn Grogan [00:12:36]:
So you can start by noticing your usual response when things don't go your way, and then ask yourself, what's one thing I can do to make this easier on myself? What's one thing that's going right even in this situation? These small shifts in perspective can change everything. Alright. Number 5, keep the big picture in mind and allow yourself to change your mind. This last point is all about keeping the big picture in mind. Many, many contestants come on alone with one big motivating goal. They want to win the money. It is a life changing amount of money. It's part of the reason why they're willing to endure weeks of hunger and loneliness and discomfort.

Lynn Grogan [00:13:15]:
They wanna change their lives, and money could help them do that. But what's fascinating is that how after spending so much time alone and reflecting on their lives, some realize that there are more important things beyond that life changing amount of money. And it's a tough decision to tap out of the game. For many, it's agonizing, and you just watch them stare at their satellite phones for hours before they make the call because they've poured so much energy into this goal. But what the show highlights is how powerful it can be to reevaluate your priorities and redecide what matters most to you. And for some contestants, the biggest shift isn't just about surviving the wilderness. It's learning to let go of things, even super big goals, when it no longer aligns with what you truly value. If you listen to one of my recent podcast episodes called changing your mind as a sign of growth, not flakiness, you'll know that this is a concept I think a lot about for myself and with my clients.

Lynn Grogan [00:14:11]:
And sometimes when you gain new information or insights, it's not only okay to change your mind, it's necessary if you wanna move forward. Letting go of a big goal doesn't mean that you have failed, and it doesn't mean that you're giving up. It just means that your priorities have shifted, and you've grown as a person. So the next time you feel stuck chasing something that no longer feels right, ask yourself, is this still what I want? What matters most to me now? Giving yourself permission to change your mind isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of wisdom and courage. Alright, my friends. We did it. Five takeaways from the show alone.

Lynn Grogan [00:14:45]:
I'm gonna do a really quick recap of what we talked about today before we close it out. Alright. Number 1, your energy is finite. Spend it wisely. Focus your energy on what truly matters to you, and don't waste it on things that drain you unnecessarily. Number 2, success requires both plan and adaptability. Plan for the results that you want, but be ready to pivot when life throws you a curve ball. Number 3, you are capable of so much more than you realize.

Lynn Grogan [00:15:13]:
Challenge yourself to push past your perceived limits. You might just surprise yourself. 4, mindset matters. Your attitude can make all the difference. Practicing positivity can help you overcome even the toughest challenges. Number 5, keep the big picture in mind and allow yourself to change your mind. Life isn't static. When your priorities shift, it's okay to give yourself permission to change your mind.

Lynn Grogan [00:15:37]:
Alright. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed putting it together. If you've watched the show alone and you wanna discuss, hit me up. I'm on Instagram at lynngrogan. Until next time. Hey, friend. Thank you for listening to today's conversation. If you're considering a major career or lifestyle change and you want to talk to someone about this, I'm here for you.

Lynn Grogan [00:16:04]:
You can learn how to work with me 1:1 on my website, which is lynngrogan.com. And I also have details in the show notes. See you next time.

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